i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
