So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
