i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
