i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
