pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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