Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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