thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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