hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
