i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
