woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize