I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize