I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
