So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
