Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
