My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
