so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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