actually, I'm a sock model
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
