ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
