Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
