I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
