Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize