Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
