This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
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His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
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Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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