Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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