I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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