Three words: puerto rican gang bang
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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