It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
and you fell through a lawn chair
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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