im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
