you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
