We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
