1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You pole danced in your parka.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
