no, he came in my armpit
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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