Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
