I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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