How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
