Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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