Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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