I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
