No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
