My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
