i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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