ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
