in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
