Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
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I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
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I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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