i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
