New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
