I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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