i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
