This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
