I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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