Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
