At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
