I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
