Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
