i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
