i dont even know how to be here
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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