Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
